And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
