U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
