i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
In America we eat man semen.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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