Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
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In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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