is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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