Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
