okay pat passed out under dana's car
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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