census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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