I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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