What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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