Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
