so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
