Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
