I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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