You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
