He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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