I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize