I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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