My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
