she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So much Jack, so little girl.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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