the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
