Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
send nudes
from the living room?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
