i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
