Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
