she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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