I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
