You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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