i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish you could order shots online.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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