He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
nutella sex= disaster
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
