Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
