i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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