why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
