I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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