when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
