we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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