I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
