Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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