seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Acid is not a monday night drug
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
