They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
