Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
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My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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