Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize