So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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