Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
