The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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