The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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