Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
