Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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