Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
pop tarts are not kleenex
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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