Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
