Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
it glows. i had to have it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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