Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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