This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
