how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
