Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Pooping to opera.
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