Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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