You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
