Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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