Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
