I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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