So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
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look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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