It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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