clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
