hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
